


Beware the Wolf

by ventusprinceps



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Corporal Punishment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Escape, Gen, Happy Ending, Implied Relationships, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-11
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 01:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ventusprinceps/pseuds/ventusprinceps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the summer after 5th year, and Harry Potter has defeated Lord Voldemort at the ministry of magic. Remus is given custody of Harry after Sirius' death and everyone heartily approves, except for Snape. Harry soon realizes that things aren't the way he imagined they would be. Instead of the man welcoming him with open arms, Remus is reclusive and angry. Harry is in for a rough summer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Infirmary and Talks with Old Men

**Author's Note:**

> There are Mentions of Sirius/Remus pairing in this story. If you squint really hard and wish it, there are also hints of future Neville/Harry. This story has only implied pairings, so you won't actually see any of that, at least not in this story. There is also abuse of a minor (Harry) in it, and a scene of Corporal Punishment. I use that term loosely because in this story that scene is one of abuse. Harry will eventually be in Snape's care but that will be a while yet , just an FYI. This fic explores what would happen if Sirius was Lupin's mate and how he would react to Harry being placed with him after Sirius dies.

 

Harry Potter slowly drifted back into consciousness. His head hurt fiercely, but he had dealt with pain his whole life and pushed it aside as he tried in vain to open his eyes. His eyelids felt unusually heavy, and he soon gave up the struggle. He slowly became aware of voices speaking nearby, and although he wasn't completely alert he stilled his mind in an attempt to hear what was being said. His habit of eavesdropping had saved his skin in the past, both at Hogwarts and at the Dursleys, and was too well developed to allow him to do anything else. Unfortunately, he was only getting snippets of the conversation and he was having trouble making sense of what was being said.

"…ministry…Fudge finally…Voldemort…" Harry recognized Professor Dumbledore's voice immediately.

"Can't believe…really gone?" A dark voice answered uncharacteristically soft. Professor Snape.

"Yes…love…unable to withstand…Sirius." The last word effectively stopped Harry's curiosity in the softly spoken conversation.

Sirius. He remembered now. Oh, how he remembered! He had stupidly led his friends to the Ministry to save Sirius, but it had all been a horrible trap. He had been so foolish and now Sirius was dead.

It felt almost as if his chest was going to explode with the amount of pain he was feeling. His throat felt as if it were swollen and he could feel the beginnings of tears prickling behind his closed eyes. He honestly didn't think he could bear these feelings. Even the cruciatus curse was less painful than the all-encompassing agony of Sirius' loss. He was so overwhelmed that it took him a few seconds to realize that he was having difficulty breathing through the pain, and he struggled unsuccessfully to catch his breath. Finally, his lungs could take no more and he made a desperate noise as his back arched slightly off the bed.

Silence descended for only a second before chaos seemed to explode from all around him. Frantic voices yelled his name, spells were whispered, and hands touched his chest and throat. The boy barely noticed in his haze of grief as he swiftly and silently passed back into the realm of unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry was sitting in the silence of the infirmary, fully dressed on his bed eating his supper alone. It was the late evening and apparently, the only reason he hadn't been allowed to leave as soon as he had woken up was Professor Dumbledore's wish to speak with him.

To say he was annoyed would be an understatement. Didn't the man have an office to conduct meetings in?

He hated the Hospital Wing.

Harry was really in no mood to talk, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get out of this discussion. Dumbledore had this odd notion that horrible happenings needed to be talked about as soon as humanly possible.

Harry hated that too.

He decided almost immediately, in a fit of teenage rebellion, that he would sit silently when the Headmaster showed up. He wouldn't speak to him at all. The man had been ignoring him since the summer, and maybe this would show him how it felt. Harry knew it was a juvenile plan but he was fifteen, and after everything he had been through over the years he reckoned he could afford to be a little immature. Truthfully, it had hurt more than he was willing to admit that the Headmaster had treated him so coldly all year and as ridiculous as it may be, he was determined to return the favor.

Harry was just finishing his supper when the Headmaster finally showed up. He heaved a quiet sigh before laying his utensils down and folding his hands in his lap.

The Professor didn't hesitate as he conjured his signature squashy purple chair, quickly sank down into it, and peered at Harry over his half-moon spectacles. Harry found he had no desire to look at the man, so he looked down and watched his fingers twisting in the sheets instead. For the first time in months he was able to look into his mentor's eyes, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. It would almost be like granting forgiveness, and he just wasn't ready to do that yet.

"How are you feeling, my boy? You've had us all quite worried." Dumbledore sounded no different than he ever did. Harry merely made a vague shrugging motion with one shoulder

Out the corner of his eye, he saw the headmaster clasp his hands softly in his lap before he started speaking again.

"I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear neither your friends nor any of the order members sustained any permanent injuries stemming from the fight at the ministry." The, except for Sirius, was understood.

Harry clasped his hands tightly together at the reminder of what had been lost and what could have gone wrong. Tears threatened to well up in his eyes as he thought of his friends and what could have happened to them. Sirius' death needn't have been the only one that night. They had been so extremely lucky.

He pulled himself together and nodded tightly, still looking down at his fingers. There was a moment of silence that may have been awkward had Harry cared at all.

"I suppose you are wondering about the prophecy you found yourself fighting for last night?"

And so the Headmaster explained as Harry sat in an increasingly incredulous silence.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. He had been prophesied to defeat a Dark Lord. He rubbed at his scar in agitation.

Seriously?

That wasn't even the most shocking thing, though. After all the odd things that had happened to him in the past, a prophecy dictating his destiny seemed par for the course. The thing that he just couldn't reconcile was that the two most powerful wizards in the world actually believed it and took it to heart as absolute truth.

Obviously, common sense wasn't all that common in the wizarding world.

Harry knew he wasn't the smartest or the most powerful. He may be oblivious to many things, but he was at least self-aware. His connection with the mad man was the only thing that enabled him to defeat Voldemort; otherwise, Harry was sure he would have been the loser in the whole "either must die" contest. That is, if you believed in prophecy, which Harry didn't. Especially when that stupid bint Trelawney was the one who gave the ridiculous thing. Of course, since Voldemort believed in it, then it was guaranteed to be 'fulfilled.'

Stupid Dark Lord.

He just couldn't understand why two ridiculously powerful men believed that he, a child, would ever stand a chance against a 70-year-old magical prodigy. They had, though. They had truly believed it.

Weird.

And now the Headmaster had started prattling on about how exactly he believed Harry had defeated Voldemort. If he noticed that the boy in front of him had stayed silent while his face cycled through anger and incredulity he steadfastly ignored it.

"When he possessed you that evening, he was unable to sustain contact. Even with your blood in his veins, your mother's love still protected you. When he made mental contact with you, that protection, along with the love you feel for those around you, was too much for him. Much like you did physically in your first year, you clung to his consciousness inside of you mentally, and Voldemort, body and soul, was destroyed." Dumbledore paused and smiled a grand smile at the boy.

Harry wasn't so sure it was as impressive a feat as the Headmaster was suggesting. He thought that his mind just went into survival mode and instinctually tried to protect itself from the threat it was presented with.

"Many Aurors, ministry workers, and the Former Minister of Magic witnessed this." The man continued, either oblivious or simply ignoring the blatant skepticism Harry was sure was written all over his face. "You have been cleared in the press and given the Order of Merlin first class. I am very proud of you, my boy. Perhaps, when you feel up to it, you can join the celebrations."

Did he really just…? Harry thought, shooting the man an incredulous look.

"Headmaster, I didn't mean to kill Voldemort so I don't really think I deserve the Order of Merlin. And celebrating is the very last thing I want to do right now. Sirius is dead." His voice cracked at the beloved name. "I won't disrespect him by acting like everything is okay just because Voldemort is finally gone. I'm glad he's gone, don't misunderstand. I just don't think his death is more important than my godfathers, and I won't treat it like it is."

Dumbledore seemed surprised for a moment. Harry couldn't be sure, if it was because of what he said or because he had actually spoken.

"My dear boy, you must not wallow in your grief. It will do little good for anyone. Sirius died the way he would have wanted. You must trust me on that."

"Died the way he wanted did he?" Harry asked, starting to get genuinely angry. Dumbledore nodded his head with a sympathetic look.

"By his bitch of a cousin's spell pushing him through the veil? You really think that would have been his preferred method?"

Again, Dumbledore looked taken aback. He ignored the profanity, however. "Fighting, Harry. He died fighting."

"Well, personally I don't think he wanted to die at all. He spent 12 years in Azkaban and when he finally got out he was still locked up and miserable. I think he wanted to live! He never really got the chance to and I can't even explain to you how painful that is for me to think about." Harry stopped and took a fortifying breath. It was hard to talk about his godfather, but he needed Dumbledore to understand. "It would be an insult to him if I immediately forgot him and started to party like all the other inconsiderate arses out there. The same ones who vilified him and called me a liar for months. So please forgive me if I stay right here and grieve like any sane person would."

Dumbledore had the bullocks to actually look disappointed. "I know you are upset Harry. That is completely understandable, but you have a responsibility to show the people that the worst is over now. You will join a celebration or, if you prefer, you can wait until tomorrow night when we will go to the ministry to receive your Order of Merlin to make your first foray into the public eye once more. I won't allow you to hole yourself away. The sooner you get out the better you will be." The man sounded a bit sterner at the end. He obviously expected to be obeyed, but his softly worded reprimand had done nothing but cause Harry to finally lose the hold he was trying desperately to keep on his always-volatile temper.

"If you think I'm going to celebrate any time soon you have lost your mind!" He spat angrily. "I don't care for the public's opinion or piece of mind. I haven't for a while. They had a grand old time crucifying me in the paper this year and I'm not prepared to just forgive and forget! And the ministry?" Harry let out a derisive laugh. "They can go fuck themselves."

"Harry!" Dumbledore admonished, looking quite scandalized, but Harry just continued.

"I won't have anything to do with the ministry, sir. I wouldn't accept an award from them even if came with all the gold in Gringotts! How could you come in here and tell me to act as if the past year didn't happen?"

"I know what's best, Mr. Potter." The man stated, looking steadily over his glasses and ignoring Harry's last question. "You will be going to the Ministry party tomorrow night." There was steel behind the man's voice and there was no longer a twinkle in his eyes, but Harry couldn't care less.

"The hell I will!" He spat and in his anger, his magic lashed out and Dumbledore's beard burst into flames.

Dumbledore quickly jumped out of his seat, and though he panicked for a moment, quite quickly used an aguamenti to put out the fire. As Dumbledore looked back at Harry, the boy could see that his beard was now slightly charred and the man's robes and beard were dripping water all over the infirmary floor. Later, Harry would laugh at the way the headmaster looked at that moment, but he was too busy being both horrified at his accidental magic and angry at the man's gall to notice the hilarity of the situation.

Harry figured he had already screwed himself by using magic against the Headmaster so he may as well continue. "I'm not going to the Ministry, and you'll have to drag me kicking and screaming if you're convinced I have to be there. I'll tell every reporter I see exactly what I think of the ministry, the general public, and the goings on at this school this year. I am not in the mood to pander to the masses and I'll probably be quite harsh."

Dumbledore looked warily at the boy breathing deeply in the hospital bed and conceded defeat gracefully. Well, as gracefully as someone who had almost had his beard burned off and was currently dripping wet could be.

"All right Harry. No need to get so worked up. You don't have to go. You are right. It is much too soon. I will just let the relevant parties know that you can not attend." Dumbledore then quickly fled…er…hastened out of the infirmary to do just that. As he left, Dumbledore couldn't help but be a little impressed despite himself. Harry was no push over, and he definitely had his mother's temper.

Harry laid back and tried to steady his breathing as the Headmaster left the infirmary. He hoped against hope that he wasn't expelled for what he had just done. It had been an accident after all. He suddenly chuckled as he remembered the look on the old man's face as he tried to stop his beard from burning. His chuckles soon turned to sobs as he tried not to think of how funny Sirius would have found it, but he didn't succeed.

In the end, Harry succumbed to his emotions and the memories that were overwhelming him. He hugged his pillow tight to his chest and wept.


	2. The Warning

Even covered in green and silver, the Great Hall looked wonderful. Slytherin had won the house cup this year.

Big Surprise.

It was the last day of term, a Friday coincidentally enough. Harry had only been released from the infirmary that morning, much to his annoyance. He had been magically exhausted before his spat with the Headmaster and 'the accident,' as he called it, had exhausted him even more. Madam Pomfrey had been out of her mind, honestly. She was beyond angry at his so-called foolishness and punished Harry by making him stay the rest of the week in the infirmary.

He had paid her back by annoying the daylights out of her.

That morning before leaving the infirmary, he had spilled everything to the group that had gone with him to the ministry. Hermione was the only one who didn't approve of his actions. After telling him 'I told you so' about the trap and berating him for questioning the Headmaster, she proceeded to let Harry know exactly what she thought of his refusal to participate in the Ministry ball that was being held in his name. She wouldn't even listen when he told her he hadn't known it was a ball or in his name. He wouldn't have gone anyway, but still.

"The Headmaster was right, Harry." She had said to him as she sat in a chair next to Ron's infirmary bed. "You shouldn't be so selfish. You're a public figure and sometimes you're going to have to cast aside your wants for the good of the many. The Headmaster knows best and your judgment hasn't been the best lately. You should have done what he wanted. Besides, you didn't honestly know Sirius all that well did you? I mean I spent more time with him this summer than you did. Don't you think you're overreacting a little? I've read about the grieving process extensively and I just don't think your reaction is completely genuine."

Silence had followed that pronouncement and what followed was a screaming match that would go down forever in the annals of Hogwarts history. Surprisingly enough Harry hadn't had to say a single word. It was Neville who had screamed and raged and reduced Hermione to tears. By the end of his thorough tongue lashing quite a few students and teachers had come to see what all the yelling was about.

Everyone was surprised to see the usually timid Neville Longbottom mercilessly berating Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor bookworm.

Neville finished his harangue with a barb about not being such a know-it-all, and how you couldn't learn everything from a book, especially emotions.

The final straw for the girl seemed to be when Ron, the person she was counting on to back her up, said, "Really, Hermione, that was just cruel. And you said I had the emotional range of a teaspoon."

She had run off to Madam Pomfrey's office after that to wait alone for Professor Flitwick to take her home, as her parents had insisted on after being notified of their daughter's actions and injuries.

She did not, however, apologize.

After that wonderful display of loyal friendship, talk had continued until Ron had been picked up by his family. Every single one of his brothers had come along with his parents, Percy included, to make sure Ron was all right, praise his efforts at the D.O.M., and take him home.

By the time they were ready to leave Ron was a brilliant shade of red, but he seemed content in the affections of his family. Harry felt happy that Ron seemed to finally appreciate the family he had. Harry promised to write during the summer and was then hugged by a multitude of red heads before they all vanished through the floo.

Harry had spent the rest of the day in his bed in Gryffindor Tower with the curtains closed, but Neville had persuaded him to come down to the feast instead of staying in bed alone with his thoughts like he had been planning on doing.

Luna joined them at the Gryffindor table and, surprisingly, he felt much better than he had since he had woken up in the hospital wing five days ago. Neville touched his shoulder gently to gain his attention.

"You want to head back up to the Common Room, Harry?" Harry looked around, finally noticing that the feast was over. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. His mind had been wandering too much lately.

"Sure Nev." They quickly bid goodbye to Luna and started to make their way to the staircase.

"Potter!" Harry and Neville both turned to find Professor Snape making his way over to them. Both boys groaned under their breaths but walked toward the man anyway.

He completely ignored Neville and addressed Harry swiftly.

"Potter, the Headmaster asked me to speak with you before you retired for the night. If you would follow me to my office."

He obediently followed the man a few feet before he realized that Neville was right beside him. Harry looked at him questioningly but Neville only looked back with a stubborn expression on his face. Evidently, his friend wouldn't be leaving him alone. Even though Harry knew the potions master wasn't a threat, he was supremely grateful for the show of support. Neville had seriously been surprising him lately.

They traveled down to the dungeons in silence. When they arrived at the door to the dour man's office, he held it open for both boys. He made no mention of Neville's presence, just rolled his eyes dramatically when he noticed the lanky teen had also followed.

"Sit." He said as he shut the door. He sat behind his desk with his hands folded on top. He glared at Neville briefly when he chose to stand next to Harry's chair instead of sitting.

"Longbottom, there is no need for you to stand guard over Mr. Potter. I assure you, I mean him no harm. If I did, I have had ample opportunity. You will recall I did not partner him with you this semester during potions. That should be evidence enough." Snape smirked as a red-faced Neville finally sat down in the seat beside Harry. Harry was trying to decide if he should retaliate or laugh. It was pretty funny. Snape didn't give him a chance, though.

"I'll get straight to the point, shall I?" He asked and then immediately continued. "First of all, the Headmaster bid me tell you his beard has recovered nicely and he does not hold your actions a few days ago against you." Snape smirked at Harry while Neville chuckled under his breath.

Harry blushed, yet again, at the reminder of his fit and mumbled, "He deserved it."

"I dare say he did." Said the Potion's Master, his smirk nearly turning into a smile. "He would have told you all this himself, but, as you know, the ministry has no minister and is in quite a state. He is there at the moment trying to push the Wizengomet to elect an Interim Minister."

Harry nodded. He knew the Headmaster had been reinstated as Chief Warlock and was very busy at the moment. Fudge had been ousted officially just the day before. Harry's refusal to go to the ball was his last ditch effort to try and stall the inevitable. Obviously, it didn't work as Harry hadn't gone. 

"Although it may be difficult to speak of at the moment, you should know your… Godfather left a will leaving most of his possessions to you. Grimmuald place is now yours, as is that filthy house elf. It is currently in the Hogwarts kitchens so that the Headmaster can keep and eye on it." He said it impassively, but Harry knew it was hard for him to leave out the insults he most assuredly wanted to say. Harry was glad he did, though; this was already hard enough.

"He also left some things for his pet werewolf. Your guardianship the most valuable."

Harry ignored the barb toward Remus, utterly surprised by this turn of events. "The Headmaster isn't going to make me stay with the Dursley's?" He asked, barely daring to hope.

"No, he is not. Lupin will be waiting for you at King's Cross station tomorrow evening."

Harry may have been depressed and in mourning, but he couldn't help whooping in joy and throwing himself in Neville's arms. He quickly regained control and pulled away, but not before noticing Neville's pink cheeks and pleased smile. Snape, however, did not look pleased. As Harry retook his seat, smiling widely for the first time since the ministry, Snape spoke up once again.

"I know how this must please you, Potter," The man began slowly, "but I feel the need to warn you."

"About what?" Harry asked.

"It was a closely guarded secret because of Lupin's status as a werewolf, but he and Black were... lovers. They were mates, as is the custom of werewolves, and had been since their school days."

"I didn't know that." Harry was thoroughly confused. He had thought Remus and Sirius were just friends. Why hadn't they told him?

"Of course you didn't, stupid boy. As I said, it was a closely guarded secret. Not even many in the order knew. I tell you this only because you will be staying with Lupin this summer and it is not uncommon for creatures to become… unbalanced or temperamental…after the loss of their mate."

Harry looked at the man incredulously. "What are you trying to say? Are you trying to tell me Remus would hurt me? That would never happen, sir." He stated passionately. What was Snape trying to do? Turn him against Remus?

"I will explain my reasons, but you will need to trust me, Potter. I may have a grudge against both of those mutts but your safety has always been my main priority. You know this." Harry did, so he listened.

"I am merely going to give you facts, Potter. The Headmaster discouraged me from saying anything but I believe you should know. The wolf was inconsolable after Black was sent to Azkaban. He raged for weeks and at one point had to be admitted to St. Mungo's. He recovered, however, and soon left England to travel for many years. It is the initial reaction that concerns me. Werewolves are fierce creatures, especially concerning their mates. No." He held up his hand as he saw Harry and Neville both start to protest. "This is a statement of fact. Lupin is more controlled than most but he is what he is. I am just making you aware of what could happen, Potter. I think it is a very bad idea to give you over to him so soon after Blacks passing, especially since you were involved in the incident, as it were."

Harry paled dramatically. Neville shot the man furious look and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder to comfort him. Harry didn't respond but Snape cocked his head a bit to the side and raised an eyebrow at Longbottom.

"That was not an accusation. I have often complained of your brash attitude, but given the situation, even an adult would have been hard pressed to stay put. You were not given all the facts, to begin with. You checked his hiding place, and you were deceived by a creature you would not have believed could lie to you. Your reaction was understandable. It was not your fault and I will leave it at that."

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and simply nodded his head. Everyone he knew had told him the same thing, but coming from this man it was different. Snape was always honest, brutally so at times. He hadn't lied to Harry yet so he let the man's words wash over him. It wasn't his fault. He could almost believe it.

"As I was saying, I think it utterly foolish to give you to the wolf, but I hold the minority opinion it seems, and Black's will is air tight. You will be staying with him until you reach your majority."

Harry interrupted. "I appreciate the concern, but I trust Remus. He wouldn't do anything to me, Professor."

"Do not interrupt me again, Potter." Harry nodded sheepishly. "You may trust him, but I do not. I have something to give you to ease my mind, and help you if needed."

He pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Harry.

_The home of Severus Snape is located at 387 Spinners End, Manchester, England._

Harry could hardly believe it. Severus Snape's home was under Fidelius, and he was sharing the secret with him! He quickly memorized it and burned the paper.

"Sir, I…" Harry had no idea what to say. Snape saved him from having to stutter his way through a heartfelt thank you.

"Yes, well, you're welcome Potter. I expect you to use that if you have the need. My floo has no password, but I am unsure where you will be staying. There may be a password to leave. There is no password on the floo at headquarters right now either. If there is trouble, I expect you to use it. Only if there is trouble, mind." He stated firmly, looking Harry straight in the eye.

"Of course, sir. I'm sure I won't need it, but I appreciate the gesture."

"Hmm." Snape looked at Harry and cleared his throat uncomfortably and said something so utterly surprising Harry was speechless.

"As horrible an influence as he indisputably was. The mutt did…love you, Potter. His only redeeming attribute."

Neville's mouth was hanging open and Snape was pink-cheeked. It took a long moment for Harry to gather himself but his whispered thank you was acknowledged none the less.

Snape seemed to be trying to find his bearings when he turned his attention to Neville. He looked him over briefly as if measuring him up. "I suspect Mr. Longbottom would not be averse to your contacting him in the event of a problem. Am I right?"

"Of course sir! If you needed anything Harry, all you have to do is let me know. Gran wouldn't mind at all, I'm sure and…" Neville seemed to be rambling to make up for the awkward silence a moment earlier, but Snape couldn't handle that for long.

"Yes yes. We understand Longbottom. Now get out, the both of you." The boys sat for a moment stunned by the quick dismissal before scurrying toward the door.

"Oh, and gentleman?" Both boys stopped and turned. "I expect this conversation to stay between us. Is that clear? I will be extremely …displeased… if I hear you have told anyone of this meeting." Both nodded quickly.

"Good. Out." And out they went.


	3. The Beginning

Harry stepped off the train and onto Platform 9 ¾ and couldn't help but smile. He wasn't being shipped off to the Dursley's for once, and even with the loss of Sirius weighing heavily on his heart, he found a part of him felt sincerely happy. Neville followed Harry off the train, quickly grabbed his hand, and dragged him over to where a small elderly woman stood waiting for her Grandson. Augusta Longbottom was a formidable woman, no matter her appearance, so Harry was understandably nervous about meeting her. Again.

"Gran," Neville said when they arrived in front of the woman, "this is Harry Potter. I wanted to introduce you again and let you know that Harry might be around this summer." Neville wasn't stuttering but he still seemed nervous. Harry wondered what his childhood must have been like.

"Hmph." She snorted as she looked him over. "You'll do I suppose. I'll be seeing him this summer you say? Well, I dare say it's about time you started inviting people over Neville. I was beginning to wonder if you were ashamed of me." She gave her grandson a sharp look as she reached for Harry's hand. Harry took it gently, but there really wasn't a need, Augusta had a hearty handshake. He felt a tingling in his hand almost immediately and yanked his hand bank, unsure what magic had just been done.

"Relax boy, just getting your magical signature so I can add you to the wards. That's all, that's all. No need to be so jumpy. Now get on with you. I hear Lupin will be watching you this summer. I saw him loitering outside the gateway." Relieved to be getting away, Harry gave Neville a hug, bowed slightly to Lady Longbottom and hurried off.

When Harry exited the platform he saw Remus immediately. He was so happy to see the man he almost hugged him, but Remus seemed rather reserved and had only nodded his head at Harry in greeting, so he restrained himself. If he was a little worried about the stilted greeting he shook it off quickly. Remus was grieving too, after all.

Remus hadn't taken him to Number 12, as Harry had half expected, a fact for which he was very grateful. He was definitely not ready to see that horrible house Sirius had been so miserable in and figured Remus felt the same. Instead, they headed for the Leaky Cauldron where they would be flooing, Remus explained, to a small cottage near the sea in Tintagel. Harry had never been to Cornwall before; he had never traveled anywhere before really. The Dursleys had never allowed him to travel anywhere with them, and the only places he had visited in the Wizarding World where London and Scotland.

As he stepped into the floo with Remus, he thought he vaguely remembered Hermione gushing over having vacationed in Tintagel before. He vaguely remembered his over-excited friend explaining to a thoroughly uninterested Harry and Ron that it was the birthplace of King Arthur. He stopped those thoughts in their tracks with a shake of his head. He didn't want to think about Hermione right now.Thankfully, just then Remus called out their destination and the sickening feeling of traveling through the floo network began.

Harry managed to land on his feet, for once, in a cream-colored Kitchen. The walls had white wood cabinetry that was cracked and faded, but clean. Their were natural stone counter tops that matched the fireplace, and as he looked around he noticed there was a family style wooden table in the middle of the room. It was made of the same wood as the cabinets. The floor was an earthy red stone. Harry followed Remus when he gestured for Harry to follow him, and listened while the man gave him a short tour, and explained the layout of the house.

The cottage had a kitchen, living room, and study downstairs. The entire downstairs was painted the same cream as the kitchen but the floors were a dark wood. The furniture was mostly made of dark leather and though old, was well taken care of. Portraits of castle ruins decorated the walls, making the over all feel of the cottage very rustic and masculine. Harry loved it immediately. The large study was filled with numerous bookcases holding dusty old tomes. The room was done up in a similar fashion as the living room, except for the large writing desk centered in the middle of the room.

The upstairs only held three bedrooms. The master was, of course, bigger than the other two. He only peeked in there but all he could see was a sitting room much like the living room with doors branching off of it into what he assumed would be the bedroom, bathroom, and closet. He picked his room quickly. It had the same cream paint and portraits as the living room, but the bedding was blue with cream. It didn't have a sitting room, as Remus' bedroom did, but what would he do with one anyway? It was definitely the largest bedroom he had ever had to himself.

"I love your house, Remus," Harry stated a little shyly, rejoining Remus in the living room after putting his trunk in his bedroom.

"It was Sirius'." Harry's good spirits immediately left him. He cursed himself silently. He should have realized that it would be nearly impossible for Remus to have afforded any home, much less this one, with his 'condition' preventing him from working on a consistent basis. Harry stood there for a moment, shuffling his feet and having no idea what to say. In the end, he didn't have to say anything. The worn looking man quickly retired to his room, locking the door behind him.

That night past and Harry hoped that the next day would be better. Unfortunately, it was not. Harry soon realized that all was not going to be fine as he had so hoped it would be. Remus still hadn't budged from his room and by the time dinner rolled around Harry was extremely worried. It seemed no matter how hard Harry banged on the door or pleaded for an answer, none would come. He had almost sent a letter off to Professor Dumbledore when he heard noise from behind the closed door. Remus was alive and evidently just didn't want company. Harry decided to leave it be for now. If the situation didn't change soon, he resolved to contact the Headmaster.

That first day was the hardest for Harry. He was used to fending for himself at the Dursley's home so it was with practiced ease that he cooked and cleaned. He left food at Remus' door at dinner, when it was evident he wouldn't be leaving his room even to eat. The man never even opened the door to retrieve it. He hadn't expected the same disinterest from Remus that he had received at the Dursleys, so it was a bit of a blow. It might have been disheartening but Harry refused to feel truly hurt. He told himself it wasn't personal and Remus was nothing like the Dursleys, even if this silent treatment felt reminiscent of them. It wasn't the same at all. Remus was mourning the loss of his... lover? Harry didn't really know what to call him, but either way, Remus' isolation was understandable. Besides, it had only been one day. It would get better.

On the second day, Harry wrote his friends. He kept the fact that Remus had locked himself in his room to himself, though. No use worrying everyone. He started his summer homework and took some advice from an article he had once read, and wrote a letter to Sirius which he then burned. It had made him feel a little better.

The evening Prophet came that night and he read about the reform going on at the Ministry as well as the Death Eater trials. Evidently, all the Death Eaters who had gone to ministry had been caught and he smiled in grim satisfaction when he read of Bellatrix Lestrange receiving the dementors kiss. Good riddance.

Day three came and went in much the same way, but Harry was starting to worry more and more. Unless he had a stash of food in his room Remus hadn't eaten anything in days. He really didn't want to get the Headmaster involved so he decided to give it a day or two more before taking that step.

On the fourth day, Wednesday, after spending 10 minutes at Remus' door trying desperately to get him to come out and eat breakfast, he decided he couldn't stay inside for one more moment. He hated being cooped up and ignored and it wasn't like Remus would even notice. He left a note he didn't expect to be read, took all the muggle money he was carrying, and set off into town.

It didn't take very long to get to the heart of the village and Harry was soon ambling around in no particular direction. A helpful shopkeeper directed him toward St Nectan's Glen and he set off eagerly to see if it was as beautiful as he had heard. It was. He spent most of the day wandering the many paths and, after paying the entrance fee, enjoying the waterfall and the tea gardens. He thought of Sirius often, and during his walk decided to write the Headmaster when he got home. He needed help Remus who was obviously suffering greatly, and Harry hated seeing him so upset. Or not seeing him, as it were.

He had a leisurely late lunch there in town and wandered into a few more shops before deciding it was time to begin the trek back home. He'd had a wonderfully refreshing day and felt better than he had in a while. It wasn't quite dusk when Harry got back to the cottage; sweaty, tired, but ultimately better for his leaving. He walked through the back door into the kitchen and saw his note was gone. Pleasantly surprised, he continued into the Living room.

"Remus?" Harry called, before stopping dead after opening the door.

The living room had been completely destroyed while he was gone. The pictures were shattered and ripped apart, the couches were all overturned, and the pillows had been shredded until their stuffing covered the floor. The couch closest to him looked as if it were close to being in pieces, it was that badly damaged. His heart raced inside his chest. Who had done this? Harry saw that nothing had been destroyed by magic and wondered if muggle burglars had been in the house. Only, nothing seemed to be missing. Everything was just…demolished.

He pulled out his wand and took a few tentative steps into the room. He heard a sound to his left and realized he hadn't even looked in that direction, stunned as he was by the destruction around him. He turned but before he could register anything he was backhanded quite brutally. He literally flew off his feet hitting a piece of a ruined couch and tumbled over it. He fought to keep conscious as the pain spiked in his cheekbone and eye. Tears quickly obscured his vision. That was soon forgotten, however, as adrenaline started pumping through him. He had to defend himself. He wasn't going out like this. He lifted his head, staggered to face his attacker, and nearly passed out again.

It was Remus.

Remus had hit him and destroyed the living room. His brain seemed to be malfunctioning because as soon as that thought entered his mind he tried to reject it. That couldn't have been what happened. Remus was…Remus. But the image in front of him proved the awful truth.

Remus looked wild for the first time in Harry's memory. His chest was heaving and his eyes had taken on an odd amber glint. He was staring right at Harry and when the werewolf stepped toward him, Harry instinctively took a step back.

"You are by far, the most selfish person I have ever met," Remus said through clenched teeth as he began stalking toward Harry. Harry was no stranger to violence, and not wanting to be hit again by an extremely angry werewolf, began backing up toward the door to the stairs.

He kept his wand in his hand, but he wasn't sure if he could curse Remus if he really needed to. Harry held up both hands in a placating gesture as he slowly backed away. "Remus, what's going on? I don't understand…"

"You never do!" Remus practically spat. "Sirius died for you and you have no regard for that sacrifice, do you? You are the whole reason he was there and yet you learned nothing! You still can't bring yourself to follow the rules put in place for your safety!" Harry felt the sting of those words as sharply as he had the slap and lost his breath momentarily. He barely registered the unfairness of the accusation. He hadn't seen Remus in days. No rules had been laid down at all, but he understood what Remus was saying. He was to blame for Sirius' death.

The man was stalking toward him, and Harry gave up on all pretense and clumsily ran to the door to the stairs, flung it open, and raced up them and down the hall to his room. He shut the door, but there was no muggle lock so he cast the strongest locking spell he knew. Then, he cast a repelling charm, not unlike the one the Order had put on the doors during meetings to keep the Extendable Ears out. Remus would be unable to literally touch the door, and thus, unable to break it down. He prayed it held while internally thanking Neville for telling him that the ministry couldn't trace his underage magic as long as he was staying with an adult wizard. He knew he was screwed if Remus grabbed his wand, but he hadn't seen it on the man and hoped that he calmed down before he remembered it.

For an hour Remus tried, unsuccessfully, to get into his room. He yelled and raged and Harry heard various items being thrown at the door, but he never used his wand. Harry hid in his closet. He felt safe there, just as he had in his cupboard at the Dursleys. He felt so incredibly foolish and young when he realized what he was doing.

He ignored the noise in the hall as best he could and, eventually, Remus stopped trying to get into the room. He tried to rationalize what Remus was doing, but he couldn't. Not at all. Harry cried himself to sleep that night, dreaming of Sirius, and wondering how things had gone so wrong.

At nearly one o'clock in the morning, Harry could be found sneaking out of his room, just as he had done when he was smaller in Surrey. It had been over twenty-four hours since his confrontation with Remus, and he hadn't left his room in all that time. He was hungry but was ashamed to admit he had been scared to leave the room while he knew Remus was awake.

As he stole quietly through the house. He noticed the living room was back in order; looking as it always had. If not for the horrid bruising on his face, he may have thought the whole ordeal was a nightmare. Merlin, how he wished it was! Harry quickly grabbed a few pieces of fruit and bread, a pitcher that he could fill with water from his bathroom sink, a tin of soup, and stuffed the items into the rucksack he had brought with him.

He quickly made his way back to his room with his haul and deftly put the protections back on his door. He felt like a coward, but he did it anyway. Just as he finished the last charm, he heard Remus' door open and the soft padding of feet against the hardwood floor.

"Harry?" Came a soft voice from right outside his door. He didn't answer and Remus eventually went back to his room. Harry waited a few more minutes before he quickly ate his meal and went back to bed for another restless nights sleep.

The sun rose on a cloudy day, and Harry had already been awake for a few hours thinking. He wasn't sure what he should do. The cottage's floo was password protected, and he hadn't been paying attention when they came through so he didn't know the password. He really had no out and he wasn't sure he wanted to stay. Remus obviously needed help that Harry couldn't give, especially since he blamed Harry for Sirius' death. He had no idea what to do.

Around lunch, he decided to venture out of his room to get something to eat. He hadn't heard Remus' door open again but figured even if he did come out, he'd had enough time to cool off. Plus, Harry was a Gryffindor. He wasn't going to hide in his room for the rest of the summer, that was for sure.

Harry's chest still ached at the thought that Remus blamed him. He knew he was the reason Sirius had gone to the ministry and if he had just been smarter… but no, he wasn't going to place the blame solely on himself. He was partly to blame, and he could take responsibility for what his actions had wrought, but he wasn't the only one culpable in what had happened. He wasn't going to let Remus continue to hurt him either. He'd already had enough of that for a lifetime.

He could understand the urge to rage. He had set Dumbledore's beard on fire, after all! But he wasn't going to let it happen again, that was for damn sure. Remus could destroy the house or anything else if that helped him, but he wasn't going to hurt Harry again. He was resolved. If a part of him was still frightened and worried he wouldn't be able to do anything against a fully trained adult wizard, he pushed it aside.

He sat quietly at the kitchen table, forcing himself not to flee to his room, and ate his lunch. He hadn't seen Remus yet and didn't want to leave the house again, just in case it triggered another rage in the man, so he went into the study where he had left his school things and correspondence. He had just started a reply letter to Hermione when he heard the door to the study creak open. Harry looked up from under his lashes and saw Remus standing there in a pair of threadbare trousers and a white button up shirt that was nice but too big for him. Harry realized with a pang that it was probably Sirius' and couldn't help but offer the man a hesitant smile.

"Afternoon." He offered as he went back to his writing. He didn't know how to treat Remus right now, and so resolved to treat him no differently than he had previously.

"Good afternoon to you, Harry." The man replied in a rough whisper as he sat down across from him. Remus cleared his throat and they sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Remus tentatively reached out and lightly grasped Harry's chin.

Harry stopped writing and did not fight the man as he tilted his face to get a good look at the bruising. Remus brought out his wand and cast a spell over the injury.

"Your cheek bone is cracked." He whispered. Harry said nothing.

Remus left the room without another word but came back a few minutes later with a small measure of skelegrow and some bruise paste. Harry swallowed the potion with a grimace and allowed the pale man to gently smear the paste onto the bruising.

"I am sorry, Harry. I… I should not have hit you. I was angry when I found you had gone out, but that isn't any excuse. It will never happen again, I promise." He looked so upset that Harry ignored the fact that he hadn't apologized for the things he had said.

"I forgive you, Remus. I shouldn't have left. I realize that. We'll just put this behind us, all right?"

"Yes, all right. Thank you, Harry."

"No problem. Maybe we should talk about those rules, though." So the two spent the rest of the day discussing rules and reading quietly together.

Harry noticed Remus was still distant and his smiles never reached his eyes, but he figured that was normal. He almost wrote to Snape when Remus went to fix dinner, but eventually decided against it. Remus had promised it wouldn't happen again, after all, and Harry trusted that. He would soon come to regret it.


	4. Upsetting Developments

Harry thought now that Remus had finally left his room and let out some of his anger (unhealthy as it was,) things would become more…normal. Or as normal as Harry believed his life could be while living with a grieving werewolf. They really didn't. In the week that followed 'the Incident' (as Harry privately thought of it,) he had seen little of Remus. Again. While it was true that he now came out to prepare and eat meals, and to occasionally check on Harry, the fact was that he still continued to spend the majority of his time locked in his room alone. That was more than a bit worrisome.

After serious consideration, Harry decided not to tell Neville or Snape about what had happened between Remus and himself. After all, Remus had apologized for striking him and promised never to do so again. Harry was confident in his belief that Remus just had a momentary loss of control. If he was a still a little skittish around Remus for the following few days, well, it was understandable that his nerves were a little rattled, right? He wasn't scared of Remus. He wasn't!

If only he could really believe that.

Harry was making a valiant effort to forget anything ever happened, but it was hard to do when he received harsh looks from Remus during the times they spent together. He didn't understand why Remus was still angry with him. What was worse was that Remus was starting to exhibit uncharacteristic and contradictory behavior, and Harry didn't know how to handle it.

The first few times Harry had wanted to leave the house he had done as he was told and went to ask Remus if it was okay. The man had merely nodded his head each time. There were no questions asked, and no inquiries made about what time he would be back. While that was odd behavior in and of itself, it became even more so when Harry started to feel like Remus was becoming annoyed by him because of it. This belief was verified when Remus told him that as long as he was back to the house by dinner he was allowed to wander where he would.

Harry was honestly frustrated and bewildered by this. Hadn't Remus lost his temper because Harry left the house without telling him? They had spoken briefly of rules after Remus had repaired the damage to his cheek, but the only rule that was actually implemented was that Harry was to tell Remus before he left the house. Now Remus was basically telling Harry to forget it! It was bizarre and seriously confusing.

Remus was also checking his homework when Harry wasn't around. Harry was guessing he was doing it at night after Harry had gone to bed. Although it was understandable that a guardian would check their charge's homework, especially someone like Remus who had been a teacher, the way he did it was nothing like Harry expected or remembered from his time in the man's class. The first time it had happened Harry had gone into the study to retrieve some parchment to write Ron and he had found his Transfiguration essay covered in so much red ink he was afraid that Hedwig had accidentally knocked over an inkwell. He soon found out that wasn't the case. Harry wouldn't have been upset at all if Remus had just left it at correcting his mistakes. He was at least self-aware enough to know he wasn't the most studious person around and mistakes in his work were common. Normally he would have been touched that Remus wanted to help with his education, but not now. The remarks left on his work were pretty scathing and reminded Harry more of Snape than the quiet man Harry was so fond of.

'This is utterly atrocious. I was under the impression that you attended Muggle School as a child. I could not tell by the structure of this paragraph."

'Did you actually read what you wrote? I hope not. This is disgraceful.'

'These concepts are easily grasped by first years. Your examination of it woefully lacking. Unacceptable.'

Harry diligently made every correction without complaining in the hopes that Remus would be happy with him. He was sure he had failed miserably.

The behavior only seemed to intensify the closer it came to the full moon. Harry tried to explain it away by saying it was only because it was the first full moon Mooney would spend without his mate, but he knew it was a flimsy excuse. Remus had always prided himself on his ability to contain his wolf. He didn't even seem to be trying anymore.

This was why Harry was almost relieved when they made their way to Grimmauld Place to get ready for the full moon. The cottage wasn't equipped to deal with Mooney, and so for the first time since his death, boy and werewolf entered the home of the late Sirius Black.

"Don't come anywhere near my door until noon," Remus instructed Harry seriously. "I'll trigger the wards before dusk, but if you come in that room during the day, you need to remember to lock the door behind you when you leave. I'll be asleep most of the day after I transform so for the next three days you're basically going to be on your own. I know we talked about this before we left the cottage, but I'm going to repeat that you are not to leave the house. If there's an emergency, floo Albus."

With those last minute instructions, Remus walked down to the dungeon room he was to stay in during the transformation, and Harry sat down to have a quiet night alone with his thoughts. Eventually, Harry went upstairs to the room he shared with Ron during the summer and fell asleep.

\---------------

Harry jolted out of sleep and almost fell out of his bed when a loud howl broke the night's silence. For a few sickening moments Harry thought that Mooney had gotten loose, but after gathering his courage and making his way downstairs he realized that the silencing charms on the magically strengthened room the werewolf was in had failed. For the first time, it entered Harry's mind that they probably should have procured some Wolfsbane Potion.

Harry had tried to fix the problem himself, but the only spell he knew that would work was silencio, which was a localized silencing charm and would only silence an object or being. He didn't know any spells that could silence a whole room. He did cast the silencer around the door and while it did muffle the sound, it didn't block it out completely.

Harry eventually fell back into bed, but whether from the adrenaline still coursing through his body or the horrible noises sounding from downstairs, he wasn't able to go back to sleep that night. By the time the sun rose Harry was exhausted and a bit nauseous.

He went down to the room to check on Remus after lunch, and while he looked battered, he was asleep on the bed just as he told Harry he would be. He left him some broth with a warming charm over it, a pitcher of cool water, and a glass. He hoped Remus would eat a little when he woke up.

Harry searched the Black Library all day for a strong silencing spell, pausing only to retrieve the dishes from Remus' dungeon room. Researching was not his strong suit, however, so it was almost nightfall before Harry finally discovered that room sized silencing spells were wards, not charms, and were way beyond Harry's ability to cast.

That night was nearly the same as the previous one. Harry spent it sleeplessly listening to the horrible howls, scratching, and bangs that accompanied Remus' transformation.

The third and last night Harry couldn't stand it anymore. He had never been able to sleep during the day, and if he had to go without sleep for one more night, he was going to cry. He went to the fireplace and flooed the Headmaster's office as instructed, but he wasn't there. He tried Neville next and got Nev's Gran, who immediately let him through to spend the night. Neville was at a Herbology retreat, but Madam Longbottom was gracious enough to let Harry stay anyway. He was eternally thankful to her for that. He slept the whole night through, flooing back before Remus awoke at noon.

\-------------------

Life continued in the same fashion it had before the full moon nights for exactly 3 days. On the morning of the fourth day, a letter came for Remus at breakfast. The unfamiliar Eagle Owl stayed only to nip some bacon off Harry's plate before taking off again. Harry didn't notice the man across from him becoming angrier and angrier until a fist slammed down onto the table. He startled and looked up into angry amber eyes.

"You went to the Longbottom's?" He asked Harry, voice low and gravely sounding.

Harry's heart nearly stopped beating. He had totally forgotten about telling Remus he had left number 12 the last night of the full moon!

"I… Yes, sir."

"After I specifically told you not to go ANYWHERE!" He yelled as he stood up and, again, slammed his fist into the table.

"Well, I had meant to tell you," Harry explained hurriedly. "I didn't realize how bad your transformation would be, and the silencing ward on your room failed. It was only the last night, I swear! And I did call for the Headmaster like you said, but he wasn't in his office and I didn't know what else to do. I just forgot to tell you, I wasn't keeping it from you purposely. Really Remus."

"Really?" The man asked sarcastically, arms crossed over his chest. "You saw Mooney up close your third year, and you can't handle merely hearing him now. I find that hard to believe."

Harry was relieved to see the man was calming down and his eyes were going back to their normal brown.

"It was way worse this time. I couldn't sleep at all! You howled and banged into the door almost all night. I made it through the first two nights but I was so tired and I needed some sleep. I think maybe Mooney was just missing his mate. Next time…"

"What?' Remus interrupting Harry mid-sentence. His face looked completely surprised but it was slowly turning into anger. Harry realized his mistake immediately. Harry wasn't supposed to know about Sirius and Remus' relationship. Harry couldn't really understand the need for secrecy but evidently, Remus didn't agree.

"What did you say?" Remus' voice was calm, but it had an edge to it that scared Harry.

Warning alarms were blaring in Harry's head so he did the only thing he could think of. He lied. "Nothing. I didn't say anything." Harry slowly stood up from his chair. Remus' eyes were amber again and he was panting heavily and Harry had a horrible feeling that this was going to end badly for him.

"Who told you?" Harry just shook his head, unwilling to rat Snape out.

"WHO TOLD YOU?" The man raged suddenly, losing the calm facade he had been projecting just one moment ago. Harry was about to take off, just as he did that first day, when Remus rounded the table, quick as a flash, and grabbed the back of his neck in an unforgiving grip. He pulled Harry forward and bent his head down so that they were eye level.

"Tell me." He growled.

"No one told me, I… I just figured it out." Harry stuttered out.

"You're lying," Remus said, and without loosening the grip on the boy's neck, dragged him into the study. Kicking the door shut behind him, he shoved Harry into the desk. "I don't know who told you but they had no right! You especially had NO RIGHT to know."

Remus took out his wand and magically spun Harry around, bending him over, and magically sticking his chest and hands to the desk. Harry tried to move his feet and found they were stuck as well. He wriggled and tried to free himself until he found his denims unceremoniously pulled down around his ankles. Harry swore internally because he had a pretty accurate idea about what was about to happen. He was reminded forcibly of the few times Vernon had been lucky enough to catch him when he was small and had thrashed him. His fears were confirmed when he heard a 'swish' and then a 'thwack' a half second before he felt the fiery hit of a belt across his upper thighs.

After a few minutes of beating him, Remus began to speak. 

"I can't believe you think you have any right to even speak of him. I have no idea who told you but you didn't deserve to know. Sirius died because of you." Tears began to drip down Harry's face, and through his own desperate noises, he could hear that Remus was sobbing through his words as he continued to beat his charge.

"You just had to run off and play the hero like always, didn't you? And yet another person died for you. Maybe if someone had done this sooner, you wouldn't be as arrogant and brash as you are!"

Harry had already lost the battle with his tears and was now sobbing heavily into the desk, not only because of the pain but because of the words being spoken. Not only had Remus accused him of being guilty of Sirius' death, but of others too.

"I'm sorry!" He cried desperately. " I thought he was in trouble! I didn't mean for it to happen." He sobbed out between hits. The belt stopped hitting his backside just then, but his relief was very brief as Remus leaned down and whispered harshly in his ear.

"No, you never mean for anything bad to happen, do you? But that changes nothing! Now Sirius is dead because of you. I'm not going to let anything like that happen again. You will learn to do as you're told, even if I have to take a belt to you to drive that message home."    

But Harry still had a little fight left in him. "Bellatrix killed him, not me." He tried to stop crying and make his voice sound convincing, but he didn't succeed with either.

Remus grabbed Harry's hair and pulled his head back hard, and Harry let out a surprised yelp. "You're the one who led him there. Lured him from safety with your own stupidity. It is your fault and I don't think I'll ever forgive you for it! You will learn, though, if it's the last thing I do. You. Will. Learn."

Learn what exactly Harry didn't know, but he didn't have time to wonder because in a further fit of temper Remus slammed Harry's head down hard on the desk. He didn't pass out, but he wished he had, as Remus continued raining blows down on his buttocks and thighs. It seemed like forever, but he finally stopped, threw the belt down on the floor, and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Harry was hysterical. He could barely breathe he was crying so much. It took quite a while to calm himself, but he eventually managed it. His entire ass down to his middle thigh still felt like it was on fire, but he could do nothing about that because he was still stuck to the bloody desk. He had been thrashed before, by Vernon, and held under the torture curse too, but he hadn't ever cried liked this before. The fact that is was Remus who had beaten him was the difference. He was supposed to care about Harry not hurt him like the others. He had, though, and Harry's heart hurt almost as badly as his backside.

He stayed like that all day until, finally, at dusk, the sticking charm wore off and Harry slipped off the desk into a heap on the floor. He laid there in despair; exhausted, in pain, and heartsick, and did not even try to get up.

He had no choice now; he had to get out of there.

\--------------

Harry woke up the next morning with an extremely sore backside and a nice goose egg on his forehead. His nose, thankfully, had not been broken. He dragged himself off the study floor, limped slowly up the stairs, and went to take a shower. He took a quick peek in the mirror before getting in and discovered that he was covered in purple and black bruising from the middle of his thigh upward. It explained the continued pain, at least.

He waited until dinner to leave his room, still limping slightly as he went down the hall and to the stairs. He didn't meet Remus on his way to the kitchen but did spy him in the back garden looking at the sunset. He hurriedly made himself a sandwich, but before leaving the kitchen found a note on the table.

 

_You are on restriction until further notice. All mail is to be presented to me before you open it or send any out. Leave your wand on the table. You have no need of it. You will be present at every meal starting tomorrow. Do not test me any more than you already have._

-R

 

Harry stared for a moment before slipping his wand into his hand. He needed his wand! How was he going to get out of here without it? Just then Remus opened the back door and stepped into the kitchen. He looked Harry over dispassionately before focusing on the wand held tightly in the boy's hand. As their eyes met, Harry realized how outmatched he really was.

Remus slowly walked forward with his hand out, palm side up stretched out toward Harry. Obviously, he was expecting Harry to give him his wand immediately. Clutching his hand around his wand, Harry realized how dangerous it would be to fight with Remus. He was not only an accomplished dueler but was also much stronger because of being a werewolf. Feeling like he was on the edge of panicking, he slowly set his wand in the man's hand.

The sick feeling in his stomach was nearly debilitating by the time he was safely back in his room. He collapsed on the bed and tried to think of a way out of this horrible, horrible, situation. He would just have to treat this like he did the Dursleys. With passivity, until he could get away. They would be going back to Number 12 for the next full moon. If he could make it until then, he could escape while Remus was unable to stop him.

Harry slept little that night, and the next morning, as if nothing was wrong at all, Remus called him down for breakfast. He took a deep fortifying breath, and as he made his way downstairs, he couldn't help but think the next few weeks were going to be dreadful.


	5. More Heartache and the Escape

Harry sat on the beach a short distance away from the cottage and thought about how everything had changed in such a small amount of time.

Oh, from the outside looking in it would seem like there were just small inconsequential changes. Remus watching him more carefully. No more trips to town. More chores and studying. These were all things that anyone watching would attribute to Remus taking his guardian duties more seriously or because of bad behavior on Harry's part.

They weren't inherently bad changes really, Harry thought, as he watched the waves crash into the sand. He was still allowed at the beach with Remus' supervision, and the chores and studying were no more than a boy his age would be expected to complete. If things had been different Harry would have appreciated the attention. As it was, he didn't. Perspective had a way of changing things after all, and what once would have been a sign of caring now only reminded Harry of how trapped he was.

Outsiders would be unable to see the true problems. Remus had become quite unlike himself. Harry often found him muttering under his breath. He also insulted Harry any time he did anything Remus found lacking, which happened often. Days were filled with cuffs, cruel words, and once a sharp slap to the face. The last happened for no discernible reason. The man watched Harry to the point that it was stifling bordering on creepy. The only time Harry was alone was when he was in the loo or asleep.

Of course, Harry had endured worse treatment from the Dursleys, but he had always known they didn't care for him. He had no expectations and wasn't surprised when the Dursleys tried to hurt or belittled him. He had known Remus. He loved Remus and had thought Remus had cared for him in return. That didn't seem to be the case anymore.

Remus hated him.

Harry's plan of waiting until they went to Grimmauld Place before trying to get away was still on. He had been polite, willing, and docile. He wasn't sure how long he could keep that up because it really wasn't easy for him to go against his nature. His temper was always close to the breaking point, but he had been able to calm himself many times by literally biting his tongue. He knew it wasn't healthy but it was the lesser of two evils. Merlin, he needed to get out of here.

His plan was not the work of genius; it was simple in the extreme.

1\. Get to Number 12.

2\. Wait until Remus started his transformation.

3\. Leave the house by any means.

4\. Get to Snape's house.

Easy right? If he got out the very first night, he knew Remus would be unable to follow for two more days. It was perfect and he couldn't really see how it could fail! However, nothing he ever thought would be simple ended up being that way. He'd just have to be prepared for anything. If there was one thing that Harry had learned from all his misadventures at Hogwarts, it was that he was good at flying by the seat of his pants.

But, as sure as he was of his simplistic plan, he had tried to abandon it two days before. He shook his head at his own stupidity.

He had woken in the middle of the night from a bad dream, and as he lay there panting he had been struck with an epiphany. Why the hell was he still here? Why wait weeks when he could just sneak out now? Remus was asleep, wasn't he? He could be out of here before then man woke up in the morning. He didn't have his wand so he couldn't call the knight bus, but he could take the muggle bus to London and floo to Snape's from the Leaky Cauldron.

It was an ill thought out plan, he knew now. What if Remus had just waited at the Leaky? There were only a few places Harry could have gone, after all. Harry hadn't thought of that, though and had rashly decided just to leave now before he lost his nerve. He hadn't even changed his clothes, just left his room in his pajamas, which ultimately ended up saving him from another beating. He had gotten to the door that separated the living room from the kitchen when the voice he had been afraid to hear spoke up behind him.

"Where are you going, Harry?" Remus gruffly demanded.

Harry had jumped about two feet, spun around, and slammed his hand down over his fiercely beating heart. There Remus was, standing at the bottom of the stairs still dressed in his rumpled nightclothes and heavily disheveled hair. He looked wide-awake, though, and the suspicious look on his face showed clearly what he thought Harry had been doing.

"I was just getting a glass of water, Remus." The lie had flown so easily from his mouth he had to stop and make sure that it was he who had really spoken! He wasn't normally that smooth. Lying was not his forte. "Did I wake you? You scared me half to death!" He figured his tone had been convincing because the suspicious look disappeared from Remus' face and had been replaced by the cold mask he'd been wearing lately.

"You did. The ward around your door woke me up when you opened it. I'd appreciate you not getting up in the middle of the night again, Harry. I don't particularly enjoy being woken up abruptly. Now get your water and get back in the bed."

Harry had gotten his water, Remus watching all the time, walked back to his room, and shut the door behind him. He had leaned back against the door, glass in hand, and cursed himself for being so stupid and Remus for putting him in this position. He knew he'd have to go with his original plan. It was better that way anyway.

"Harry?" He heard Remus call from a few feet away, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Come in for dinner."

Harry got up quickly, followed Remus into the kitchen, and sat down to eat. One of the reasons he enjoyed his daily beach time so much was that the sand was so soft to sit on. He still had bruises on his thighs and arse from the beating he had gotten a week and a half ago. Normally, there wasn't that much pain, but it was still uncomfortable for him to sit on hard surfaces. Like the kitchen chair he was currently perched on.

They ate in silence. Well, Harry did anyway. Remus sat muttering to himself. It was disturbing as hell, and Harry tried to ignore it. A hand suddenly struck the side of his head. It wasn't hard enough to leave a bruise, but it still nearly knocked him out of his chair.

"What was that for?" He cried automatically. As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. Remus' look was sharp and threatening.

"Sorry. Sorry." He said quickly trying to diffuse the situation. "You just surprised me, that's all."

"Don't talk to me like that again, Harry," Remus stated softly, but firmly. "This is your only warning. I'll not put up with that kind of disrespect."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied. What did the man expect, though? He clouted him out of nowhere!

"I was saying that you got a letter from Neville Longbottom. He wanted to see how you were doing. I'll give you the letter and you'll present me with your reply before you go to bed. You should write Ron as well. He asked if you could come to the Burrow for a week or two. Tell him you're on restriction and that you can't." Remus finished the last of his meal and got up from the table and went to stand by the sink.

"He'll wonder why I'm on restriction." Harry ventured tentatively as he too finished, and began to clear the table. "What am I supposed to tell him?"

Remus had just begun setting the dishes to wash themselves, so he didn't turn around when he replied. "You can't think of anything?" He asked lightly. "There are so many things to choose from, after all, aren't there? Surely you could pick one." His voice was getting gravely at the end.

"Yes, sir." Harry replied. He thought it was the safest answer, but he was wrong.

"Yes, sir." Remus mimicked unkindly, back still facing Harry. "It seems that's all you're capable of saying now, isn't it? I wonder if you're just placating me or if you really have learned to obey. It's a little late if you have, isn't it!" His voice was louder and rougher at the end but he wasn't yelling quite yet. He plucked the plate hovering over the washbasin out of the air and smashed it on the ground. Harry's heart was racing as he ducked behind the dinner table as a glass was thrown his way and it shattered on the wall behind him.

The next three minutes were a petrifying experience for Harry. He imagined this is what had happened to the living room that first week, but it was horrifying to watch. He stayed crouched with tears in his eyes and watched Remus destroy every dish in the kitchen in his rage. Harry fervently hoped that that was all Remus was going to do.

Finally, the crashing sound of breaking dishes stopped, and all that could be heard were the heaving breaths Remus was taking in. Harry shakily stood up but kept his eyes on his shoes.

"Look at what you made me do." Barely a whisper, but it was a heartfelt one. As if Remus truly believed Harry was the one responsible.

"I'll clean it up." Harry breathed. Willing Remus to leave the room.

"Good boy." It was said with no inflection so Harry couldn't be sure if he was being sarcastic or not.

Glass crunched under the werewolf's feet as he left the room. The door was left open so he could still keep an eye on Harry as he sat in the living room and picked up a book. He acted as if he hadn't just wrecked the kitchen and scared a 15-year-old boy out of his mind.

As Harry cleaned the broken glass and food from the floor he thought of how completely unreasonable and insane Remus was acting. He had been nearly incoherent with rage over what? A question about what he was to tell Ron he was on restriction for? Remus was mad. Harry took a breath and tried to steel his resolve. I can do this. Only a three more weeks. I can do this…

It took a while but he finally finished cleaning the kitchen. Afterward, he only had the energy to write his friends, before crawling into his bed.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Harry was busy cleaning his room when he heard a strange noise from downstairs. He waited a moment, and when he heard nothing else he shrugged his shoulders and continued his dusting. He had just finished when his door was furiously banged open. There Remus stood with a few rolls of parchment clenched in his hand, looking for all the world as though he'd like nothing more than to throttle someone.

'You have a letter." He said through clenched teeth. When Harry just stood there, eyes wide and scared, Remus continued. "It's from Neville." He threw the letter on the bed and Harry tentatively walked over and picked it up off his comforter.

Harry scanned the letter, worriedly looking for whatever it was that sent Remus off the deep end. He found it near the bottom of the first page.

Snape had evidently written to Neville to make sure Harry was being treated well. He supposed the man was trying to be sneaky by writing Neville to gather information, but that boy had not a cunning bone in his body and had written Harry all about his letter from Snape. He went on innocently enough to speak of his own summer, but then Neville mentioned the talk the two of them had had with Snape before term ended. Harry could now guess why Remus was so irate.

"So you're close with Severus now?" Harry looked up from the parchment and let it flutter to the floor. He shook his head in a futile gesture. Remus took a menacing step toward him and before Harry could move away, pushed him so hard he fell on his backside. "I suppose he was the one who told you about Sirius and I. I should have known he'd take it upon himself to tell you. I'm sure he thought it was one final dig to Sirius."

He grabbed Harry by the collar and pulled him up until they were nearly nose-to-nose. "Did you even wait until Padfoot completely fell into the veil before replacing him with that greasy bastard? Sirius would be ashamed of you! I didn't think I could hate you any more than I already do, but I was wrong."

The air left Harry's lungs at that statement, but he didn't have time to think about the cruel words before he was let go and fell backward once more. He looked up from his position on the floor in time to see Remus take off his belt. He scurried away from what he knew was coming.

"Come. Here." Remus demanded, pointing his finger to the floor in front of him.

"No," Harry whispered, shaking his head slightly. He was shaking in fear, but he still bolted for the door in an attempt to get away. He got halfway down the hall to the stairs before he was tackled to the floor. He struggled and kicked, but Remus was stronger and once he got his arms around Harry, the boy had no chance. Remus dragged him back to his room and threw Harry to the floor. As he calmly stepped in and locked the door, Harry made one last-ditch effort to at least postpone what he knew was coming. He scrambled toward his bathroom door, but it shut just as he reached it. There was an audible click telling him it had been locked. He turned around slowly and saw Remus stowing his wand back into his inner vest pocket.

"You," He remarked with eerie calmness, "are in big trouble, young man."

Harry let out a single terrified sob.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry couldn't move the next morning, he was so sore. Remus hadn't been able to stick him to any surface at first and had just hit Harry anywhere he could reach as he tried to crawl away. Harry eventually was such a sobbing, shaking mess he was unable to try to get away anymore, and Remus had easily lifted him onto the bed, and the beating had started in earnest.

Harry was sure he was bruised all along his back and sides as well as his thighs and buttocks. The old ones had just turned yellow but the new ones would probably overlap those now. He lay in the bed for the rest of that day and the next, only getting up to use the loo and get water from the tap. He was too sick and in pain to even think of venturing downstairs for food.

Remus, thankfully, stayed away.

Harry finally got out of bed the third morning and went downstairs to eat. Breakfast was already on the table. He tried to stand up to eat, but Remus pushed him into a chair. Harry inhaled through his teeth as his abused backside hit the chair and he tried to stand back up. Hands on his shoulders prevented him from doing so and a hissed, "Stay there," prevented him from trying to get up again.

"Why? " Harry asked after he finished his breakfast and was about to leave the room. He was standing in the doorway and suddenly had to have the answer to this question.

"Why what?" Remus asked uncaringly from behind his Daily Prophet.

"Why did you consent to be my guardian if you hate me so much? You obviously don't want me. Why not let someone else have me?"

"Sirius gave you to me." He said as if that answered the question completely. Harry just looked at him silently before leaving the room and heading for the study. Two more weeks and he was getting out of here. Hopefully, after that he'd never have to see the hateful face of Remus Lupin ever again.

 

* * *

 

The first two weeks of July moved slowly. Too slowly for Harry's liking. His backside and thighs were covered in bruises in various stages of healing. Constant reminders of the two beatings he had received. His face had a yellow-green bruise from a slap for 'cheek' that Remus had refused to heal. Their routine had continued in the same pattern during those two weeks and Harry had never been so thankful when the day of the full moon finally arrived.

He was significantly less glad when Remus told him after they had arrived at Number 12, that he had blocked the floo and would be warding all the doors and windows.

"If you don't try to leave this time, I'll take you off restriction. I'm doing this for you, Harry. You have to learn."

Harry didn't know whom Remus was doing it for, but it wasn't him. He knew Remus was lying anyway. He was insane and would never take him off of 'restriction.' He was going to find a way out of this Merlin-forsaken house if it killed him. He wasn't going to step one more toe in that cottage ever again, but he had only nodded his acceptance to Remus' decree. He had traded one abusive environment for another and he wasn't going to take it anymore. He had a place to go. He just needed a way out of the house.

 

* * *

 

 

The full moon was finally up and the noises from the dungeon told Harry it was time to move. He had to be out of the house tonight. It would give him two days to reach Snape's and convince whoever he could that Remus needed help and to keep him as far away from Harry as possible. Remus would be in no fit condition to look for him until the end of the moon cycle. As long as he got out tonight, he would be fine.

Hours later, he was no closer to leaving when the answer came to him in a burst of hysteria-filled inspiration at 4:30 in the morning.

"Kreacher!"

The ugly little elf popped into existence right in front of him, but before he could say anything derogatory Harry quickly cut in.

"Can you pop me out to the road in front of the house?"

"Why does stupid half-blood master want this, Kreacher wonders."

"Answer the damn question!"

"Kreacher can. Oh, what would Mistress say if she…"

"Yes, yes, she'd be horrified I'm sure. Kreacher, I want you to pop me out to the street and then go back to Hogwarts. If Remus summons you, do not come. That is an order. Understand?"

Kreacher looked at him for a moment before grabbing him suddenly and popping him out to the street. Before he took off again Harry stopped him.

"Do you know where we were staying, the Cottage in Tintagel?"

"Kreacher knows."

"Go there and find my wand and bring it here as quick as you can. Then I want you to go back, pack all my things in my trunk and take it to my bed in Gryffindor tower. Do not destroy anything."

By six o'clock Harry was sitting anxiously on the night bus, wand in hand, headed for The Leaky Cauldron. He should have just had creature pop him to The Leaky, but it was too late for that now. The bus was ridiculously full because of morning commuters, and it was well past eight o'clock before he finally arrived. He tried to reassure himself that Remus would still be passed out right now and that no wards would have been tripped, so even if he were awake he would think Harry was just asleep or sulking in the house somewhere.

It didn't reassure him though and he looked furtively around the establishment before asking Tom for passage through his floo.

"Are you sure you don't want St. Mungo's, Mr. Potter?" Tom whispered anxiously, obviously noticing the bruises on his face.

"No, sir. I just need to use the floo to get somewhere safe. Please, sir, I'm in a hurry." The desperation must have leaked into his voice because Tom refused to take the last two Knuts Harry had and just told him to be careful as he escorted the boy to the floo himself.

Harry quickly threw in some powder, stepped into the fire, and whispered clearly. "Severus Snape's home. Spinners End." He desperately hoped that was the right way to say it.

When he stepped out of the floo and into the drawing room of what had to be Severus Snape's house, he was surprised to find both Snape and the Headmaster sitting in wing-back chairs next to the fire.

Both men looked properly shocked, and then worried when they saw the state he was in. They both jumped up from their chairs and started to usher him to the sofa, but the adrenaline in Harry's system was gone. Now that he knew he was safe he just couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

He collapsed on the couch and as Dumbledore sent a Patronus to Madam Pomfrey, Snape knelt down next to him as he lay on the couch.

"You were right Professor." Was all he could say to the man's questioning look before he promptly passed out from exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. So Sorry about that!


	6. Explanations

Harry was sitting a bit uncomfortably in the Headmasters office. He was feeling uncomfortable party because of the way he had treated the Headmaster the last time he had seen him, but mostly because of the discussion they (he, Snape, Dumbledore, and Kingsley Shacklebolt) had just had. He had told them everything that had been going with Remus in the past weeks and for some reason, Snape hadn't stopped glaring at the Headmaster since.

Kingsley had left about a half an hour ago to get Remus out of Number 12. Harry supposed he would be taken to St. Mungo's but he hadn't really asked. They had been sitting here in silence for all that time and just as he was about to ask if he could go, Dumbledore started speaking.

"I am very sorry, Harry, that you had to endure such treatment; especially from someone who was entrusted with your care."

"Yes." Drawled Snape, cutting the Headmaster off before he could say more. "Sorry you may be, but it seems to be a recurring theme in Mr. Potter's life to have to put up with mistreatment from those he should be safe with."

He pierced the Headmaster with a fierce look before continuing. "The fact is; you have blatantly ignored the counsel of others when they've disagreed with the advisability of placing this boy with both the Dursleys and the Wolf.

"The Dursleys were horrible, despicable people. You assured us all that such a measure was unavoidable, and truly, it was; as disgusted as I am to acknowledge that it is true. Why did you then decide to put the boy in another situation where he could be mistreated? You had to have known what could have come of that. The very real danger that he was being put in. I, for one, want to know why you agreed to this ridiculous and hazardous course of action!"

Harry just sat there watching as his usually calm professor became progressively louder and louder until the last sentence was practically shouted. Harry was sure that if the man's robes weren't in the way he would have seen him stamp his foot! As funny as that thought was, he didn't laugh. He wanted to know the answers to those questions as well. He wasn't sure what the deal was with werewolves and their mates but obviously Snape had known and so had the Headmaster.

"I wanted to do the best thing for both of them, Severus." The Headmaster began softly. Harry was aggravated that he was being talked about like this but assumed he would get more information if he just kept quiet and let the two men talk between themselves. "Harry needed a new home and Remus had just lost the only family he had left. They needed each other, Severus."

Snape huffed through his nose. "That might be true Headmaster, but you knew that there was a great chance the Lupin wouldn't take the help the boy's presence would give him; that he may give in to his Wolf's anger, and hurt the boy instead."

"What are you…?" Harry started to ask. He was thoroughly bewildered by this point. How could his presence have helped Remus? Was the treatment he received deliberate or not? Did every werewolf go through this if they lost their mate? And if so, he could understand why Snape had warned him. He didn't get to ask his questions, though, because the Floo flared just then and the tall, broad form of Kingsley Shacklebolt stepped into the room.

"Headmaster, Severus." He acknowledged the men in his deep, calming voice.

"Harry I can safely say your unpleasant summer is at an end," Kingsley said as he sat down in the armchair next to Harry. "As you know, I was just at Grimmauld Place." Harry's heart skipped a beat. Had they arrested Remus? He wasn't sure if he wanted that or not. Remus had hurt him, yes, but was it something he could have help? Did it really matter? He was so conflicted! Those emotions must have shown on his face because Kingsley quickly continued.

"He was not arrested." Harry was simultaneously relieved and anxious. "He was taken to St. Mungo's before he even regained consciousness from his transformation. He's being kept in a private room where he is going to receive the help that he needs. No need to worry."

"He's getting help?" Harry asked in a small voice. Kingsley nodded slowly once. "Does that mean… he didn't really want to hurt me?"

Kingsley looked at Dumbledore and Snape briefly before addressing Harry again. "What do you know about Werewolves and their mates, Harry?"

"Well, Professor Snape told me that werewolves could be dangerous after they lose their mates, but that's all."

Kingsley shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked directly at the Headmaster.

"You should have told him all this already. You sent him to Remus without any real understanding of what could happen."

"An honest mistake, I assure you. I was counting on Harry being able to help Remus through his mourning. I don't mean that as a criticism!" He hastened to add when he saw the furious look from Severus, the disapproving look from Kingsley, and the guilty look from Harry.

"It wouldn't have been a conscious thing on your part, Harry. Your very presence should have been enough to help Remus. I honestly don't understand why it did not and I am very sorry for that my boy. Very sorry indeed." Harry looked up at the Headmaster and realized that he truly was sorry. He looked devastated at his mistake, and very very guilty.

"I don't blame you for what happened, sir. You were giving me what you knew I wanted and I was really glad to be going with Remus this summer. I didn't believe Professor Snape when he warned me before the term ended and I really should have listened to him." He sent Snape an apologetic look; the man nodded in return.

"I should have contacted someone when he first started acting strangely but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt…"

"Bloody Gryffindor." Snape swore under his breath.

"… and so I waited. Maybe if I had more information it would have changed things but it's too late for that now." Harry gave the aged man a small smile to show that he was forgiven. "I would like to know what's going to happen to Remus and if this was something he could have helped."

Harry wasn't sure if the answer to the last question was going to change his already jumbled up feelings, but he wanted to know anyway. He was frightened about the answer, but as Snape had just said, he was a 'bloody Gryffindor.' He would get through this.

"All right, Harry," Began Kingsley lifting his foot up to rest one ankle across the opposite knee. "First let me tell you a little about werewolves and then I'll tell you about the relationship they have with their mates." Harry nodded.

"Werewolves are pack creatures. You already know this." Harry nodded his head even though he knew it wasn't really a question.

"Let me give you a little background. Before the discriminatory policies the ministry has implemented within the last 50 years, werewolves were able to get jobs just like anyone else. Most werewolves were adults. Children weren't usually bitten because it's not under usual circumstances that children are out after dark without their parents. It is especially unusual because the moon doesn't normally come out until well after nightfall. Most people in the wizarding world are aware of the moon cycles and try to stay inside on the evening of the full moon."

"But, wait," Harry interrupted. "What about the muggles? Aren't some of them bitten as well? They wouldn't know about the full moon. And how are children bitten if their parents are so conscious of the moon cycles?"

"Let's take those one at a time. It is true that muggles get bitten from time to time." Kingsley began in a slow, measured voice. He looked at Dumbledore and Snape and got a nod from Dumbledore before continuing. "It isn't widely known and very rarely published in books, but these Muggles never survive being bitten."

"What!" Harry exclaimed. "Why?"

"They lack magic. It's the same reason why Muggles can't get Dragon Pox. The venom in a werewolf bite travels through a human's blood and, without going into exactly the technical reasons, a person's magic eventually absorbs all the venom and the two are intertwined. It's why some of the wolf's characteristics are seen all throughout the month. Examples being changed eye color, increased strength, and a more acute sense of smell. All of those things change because the magic of the person bitten is inundated with the venom. It actually changes those things about the person.

"Muggles don't have magic so the venom isn't absorbed by anything and their organs quickly die as a result of the venom. Very nasty, and one of the reasons Voldemort was so interested in the werewolves." Harry had only a moment to be completely horrified before Kingsley continued.

"On to your next question; the reason why magical children have been bitten more frequently than adults in the past 25 years or so, is that a werewolf by the name of Fenrir Greyback targets them. He uses different means to lure them out of their homes on the night of the full moon and attacks them. Sometimes he even takes the Wolfsbane potion so he can get inside a home to massacre the entire family."

"Fenrir Greyback was a werewolf who was a follower of the Dark Lord, Potter." Snape cut in. "He was just recently captured and kissed, but while he was alive he believed in biting children and raising them to be like him: Heartless murderers. He was the one who bit Lupin, in fact. He would win their affection and turn them against wizards and witches. Even if they eventually came to realize his lies they still stayed with him."

"Why would they stay with a person who had hurt them and lied to them? Someone they knew was wrong? That doesn't even make any sense!" Harry cried.

"Werewolves bond with their packs after they are together for a time and develop trust in each other," Dumbledore explained patiently. "Once those bonds are created they can only be broken in death. While a pack member can leave the pack, there is such a feeling of loyalty that they usually never do this permanently."

"Greyback used this bond to his advantage and trained all those in his pack to despise the race of Wizards. He perverted the pack bond into something horrible, and that is why many stayed with him for so long." Snape finished.

"Okay." Harry said after taking a steadying breath. "So what does this all have to do with Remus?"

"Remus is a completely different case. Usually, when parents find out their child has been bitten, they willingly give the child to one of the many packs in the UK. Whether it's because they want the best for their child or because they don't want to live with the stigma of raising a werewolf depends on the family, but almost all of them are given to one pack or another.

"Remus' parents were different. They decided to keep him and, as you know, he eventually went to Hogwarts.

"The important part of this is that Remus was never part of a pack." Kingsley continued. "Not until his friends became animagi and they formed their own. A pack bond is lifelong, as I've said. Once a werewolf joins a pack and bonds with the other members it can never be broken. It's an instinctual and gradual act, but it is very strong."

"Finding a mate is much the same way." Kingsley stopped for a moment to make sure Harry was still paying attention. "The only difference is that there is a ritual done to connect them. It is also a lifelong bond and werewolves usually find mates within their own packs, just as Remus did with Sirius.

"Because of the bond mates share, when a mate is lost the werewolf becomes depressed, angry, and extremely volatile. It's like losing an essential part of themselves, and while that is very hard for the human part of them to deal with, the wolf part is inconsolable. If the mate was murdered or died in any way besides natural causes, the wolf will want vengeance on all those he sees as responsible.

"And no Harry," Kinsley reached over and laid his hand on the boy's shoulder in comfort. Harry was looking so guilty and miserable that he couldn't help it. "If he had truly blamed you, he wouldn't have been able to even see you without trying to permanently harm or kill you."

Harry relaxed a bit at that statement but then couldn't help but ask, "Then why did he hurt me? He blamed me for Sirius' death constantly and he was always so angry. If he didn't blame me then why did he do what he did?"

"It's because during the first few months after the loss of a mate, a werewolf needs to be around his pack. It helps his wolf to stay calm to be around others he has bonded with. Without at least one pack member's presence, a werewolf will lash out and hurt anyone around him. They become mad, start acting irrational, and become even more prone to violent outbursts. If left in that state for too long they can go feral." At Harry's questioning look he explained further.

"It means that the werewolf stays in that state of madness and violence. Most werewolves that go feral are executed. Greyback was feral." That made Harry feel quite sick, Kingsley was oblivious and so kept talking. "Remus had no pack left to sooth him and in his grief, it seems, he slowly let the wolf take over his actions."

"He wouldn't have been able to hurt you if you had been part of his pack, as I thought you would be, my boy." Dumbledore started. "You are the son of one of his pack. It was my mistake to assume such a thing."

"So what are you saying?" Harry just wanted some clarification. It seemed like they were saying it wasn't truly Remus' fault, but he wanted to be clear.

"He knew what happened last time Potter." Snape started.

"Severus…"

"No Albus! He needs to be told and you two will only dance around it." He turned back to Harry and crossed his arms over his chest.

"As I was saying, he knew what happened last time. He knew you weren't part of his pack, and he still agreed to take you. He most likely thought that he could control himself, that he wouldn't hurt you, and when he found out different he locked himself up in his room." Harry looked at him with dawning understanding.

"So, those first few days…"

"He was trying to stay away from you, presumably to keep you safe. Admirable, yes, but still foolish. He should have contacted someone immediately to come and get you. He was aware of the danger to you but seemed unable to relinquish you for some reason." Snape was saying all this in his usual emotionless way, but Harry was grateful for the honesty.

"He said he was keeping me there with him because it was what Sirius would have wanted."

"That is probably the reason," Kingsley said after a slight pause. "He wouldn't have wanted to disappoint his mate. He made the wrong decision, though. He may not have had full control over his actions, and had to have gone quite a bit mad, but in the beginning, he chose to keep you with him. He could and should have sent you elsewhere when he realized that your presence wasn't going to help him. He probably told himself he could resist his violent urges, but he should have known better. He did know better. This is not the first time he has had to deal with losing Sirius. He may not have truly meant to hurt you, but he could have prevented it. That's the truth of the matter, Harry."

There was silence for a number of minutes before Harry was able to speak. "I don't know how to feel about this. You're saying that his reactions were normal for grieving his mate without his pack, but that he knew he was a danger to me but kept me with him anyway." Harry was sure he was more confused now than he was before. It couldn't just be a simple yes, it was his fault or no, it wasn't his fault. It had to be all convoluted. That seemed to be the perfect word to describe his life since entering the wizarding world. Convoluted.

"What about now? He still doesn't have his pack." Harry asked. He didn't want Remus to be executed, no matter how mad and hurt he was.

"The Healers at St. Mungo's are more than competent enough to set Remus back to rights, Harry," Dumbledore said softly. Harry looked up at the man and could see the proud glint in his eye. He wasn't sure why the Headmaster was looking at him like that but it made him feel a little better.

The meeting ended soon after that with Harry refusing to press charges but not wanting to have anything to do with Remus. At least until he figured out how he felt about the man. He was angry, resentful, hurt, and sad. He still couldn't help but love Remus, even with all those negative emotions befuddling his brain and heart. He knew that the man hadn't honestly wanted to hurt him, but his bad decision did result in that happening and Harry was, frankly, tired of being hurt by those who were supposed to take care of him.

It was decided that his guardianship would be signed over to Snape as soon as Remus was coherent and amiable to do such a thing. Until then he would be staying with Snape at Spinner's End. At least that was what Harry had assumed until they had actually arrived at Snape's house.

They had barely stepped out of the floo when Snape had spun around and addressed him. "Your birthday is the day after tomorrow. You aware of this?"

Harry was too taken aback to answer right away and Snape, of course, took advantage of that.

"Since you seem to be too dimwitted to answer I will assure you that I am correct and your birthday is the day after tomorrow. I am perfectly aware that you and I are not on the best of terms, no matter how cordial we have been to each other since the last week of last term. Bearing that in mind, I have arranged for you to spend the next two weeks with Longbottom. You will return here on the 12th of August and we will spend the rest of the remaining weeks of vacation at Hogwarts getting ready for the next school year."

Harry just gaped at the man. That was such a… _nice_ thing for Snape to have done. He closed his mouth and realized that Snape was standing in front of him looking extremely uncomfortable. Harry's mouth began to slowly curl up into a cheeky smile, but before he could say anything Snape composed his features and looked, once more, like his normal austere self.

"Say one word, Potter, just one, and you will spend these two weeks pickling a variety of the most disgusting potion ingredients I can find instead of spending it with your bumbling friend." He even tacked on his customary sneer.

Harry made a great show pressing his lips together and making his eyes as wide as possible. Snape gritted his teeth together so hard Harry was sure he could hear them cracking.

"Get your things before I change my mind. Go!"

Harry hid a smile as he scrambled to get his trunk from beside the fireplace. It was good to know that some things stayed the same. Even if it was Snape being a crotchety bastard.


	7. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it people! The last chapter of this story. Super excited to be finished and I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks to everyone who left comments, kudos, and bookmarked this!

The first term of Harry's sixth year had come quickly, and a lot had happened in the weeks since he left Remus at Number 12.

He had greatly enjoyed his two weeks with Neville. Harry had taught Neville how to fly and Neville had (tried) to teach him about all the exotic plants in his families greenhouses. For once, Harry was able to act like a real teenager and it was absolutely wonderful! Neville hadn't pitied him when he was told about Harry's summer and he was always up for listening and allowing Harry to talk through what he was feeling for Remus, which was a ridiculous number of conflicting things. Neville hadn't judged him or acted like he thought Harry's decision was right or wrong, and for that Harry was exceptionally grateful.

Ron and Hermione, on the other hand, had been right nightmares to explain everything to when they had found out he was no longer with Remus. He hadn't wanted word of Remus' transgressions to reach the ears of the public and so he had to get an oath from them not divulge anything they were about to hear, before telling them about his summer.

Both of his friends had been absolutely horrified and what had happened.

Hermione, in predictable Hermione fashion, told Harry that she would be researching everything to do with werewolves: their pack, their mates, and everything else she had missed during their third year. She said Harry would need the information so he could make an informed decision about forgiving Remus. Harry's assertion that he had all the information he needed and that he would sort out his feelings in time fell on deaf ears. It wasn't until Harry told Hermione that forgiveness didn't come from books that she started to listen.

"Oh Harry!" She had exclaimed exasperatedly "Then how will you know if he deserves your forgiveness?"

"No one deserves forgiveness Hermione, if they did, they wouldn't need it in the first place. And anyway, it's not just about what I know, it's about what I feel too. No new amount of information is going to change that."

She had relented after that and Harry was glad. She was one of his best friends and he loved her, but books weren't going to help him at this point.

Ron was a whole different story. He was as supportive as he could be considering his insensitivity issues. He was even surprisingly okay with Snape receiving custody of Harry. What he was not okay with was Harry spending two weeks with Neville instead of coming to the Burrow. He hadn't outright said anything but the two times Ron had come over to Longbottom Manor, he had been sullen and jealous and Harry was hard pressed not snap at him to get the hell over it. Harry felt it was best to refuse his invitation to the Burrow for a night or two because of this. He had cited how rude it would be to leave Neville by himself when Harry was a guest at his home.

"Besides," He had told Mrs. Weasley through a floo call. "Professor Snape told me I could stay here, but he didn't say anything about going anywhere else and I really don't want to push my luck with him just yet."

"That's probably for the best, dear." Mrs. Weasley had said, and then smiled and told him she would see him very soon before flooing away.

Ron had gotten over his jealousy of Neville fairly quickly after that and everything was back to normal by the time term started once more.

The remaining summer weeks he spent at Hogwarts with Snape were…interesting. He was still a snaky bastard and delighted in calling Harry and "idiotic boy," but they had come to an understanding. Harry felt he was too old for a father figure, and Snape was not the fatherly type. Their relationship fell neatly into the category of Mentor. When Harry graduated Hogwarts, he was sure their status would upgrade to friend.

Snape had been of inestimable help to Harry. He had listened, once again, to Harry's account of what happened during the summer and had quickly and effectively disabused him of all the "ridiculous drivel" Remus had tried to fill his head with. Snape had told Harry that Remus had just been mad with grief and that he had been the only outlet available for his rage.

"Not that it excuses his behavior." Snape was quick to say.

Remus had been sent to St. Mungo's for help immediately after he had awoken from the last day of that full moon in July and Harry hadn't heard from him or about him since that time. Evidently, he was getting the help he needed. Harry wished him all the luck in the world. Privately. He did not intend to see the man anytime soon.

Snape had given him a small heads up in that regard.

"Once the wolf has regained his senses he will understand how wrong he was on a number of counts, least of which will be his poor decision to keep you with him knowing the danger he posed to you. He will seek your forgiveness. You should be prepared for that eventuality."

Harry knew that was true, but he hoped it would take a while. The emotional wounds were still a little fresh for forgiveness.

 

* * *

 

 

"Marshmallow Pumpkins." Harry recited to the gargoyle with a roll of his eyes. It was the first Saturday in October, and Harry had been sent by Snape to give the Headmaster his inventory list for the month. The school board was quite stingy with potions ingredient money, it seemed, and Snape had to account for every ounce of every ingredient on the first of every month.

Snape had secretly told Harry that he had rigorously complied with that his entire first year of teaching. After that, when it became clear that the board never read them, he had simply sent those same reports over again with only a change of year.

Harry snickered into his hand at the names Snape had called the Governors. His vitriol was funny as long as it wasn't directed at him.

Harry knocked on the door briefly and entered when he heard the aged Headmaster calling him to come in. He stepped in with a smile on his face, but the smile soon vanished. Remus Lupin was sitting in the Headmasters office staring right at him.

"You have something for me, my boy?" The Headmaster prodded when Harry just stood there in the doorway, eyes downcast.

Harry walked slowly over to the desk and sat the scroll of parchment on it. He was no longer able to find anything humorous about his errand. He lifted his eyes from the ground and glared at the Headmaster. Harry wasn't stupid. He had been set up.

"Harry." Remus croaked out. Harry dared a glance and saw tears rolling down Remus' scarred face. He looked away, tears gathering in his eyes as well.

"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am." He let out a little sob. "I hurt you so badly." He didn't seem to be able to finish and completely broke down, covering his face with his hands as his body shook with the force of his sobs.

Harry couldn't control the tears leaving his eyes either, as he watched the man he had cared for so deeply, who had hurt him so badly, cry for what he had done. Harry kneeled down in front of the sobbing man's chair and pulled his hands from his face, grasped them, and set them, still clenched in his own, on the man's knees.

"I forgive you, Remus." Remus shook his head in denial but Harry persisted, even through his own tears. "I forgive you, but I can't forget. You were supposed to take care of me, but you didn't. I loved you and trusted you and all I got back was hate. I forgive you everything, but it will never be the same."

"I'll take whatever you'll give me Harry. I know I don't deserve it but I'll take anything."

"Write me. That's all I can give you for now." With that, Harry let go of his hands and stood back up. Remus immediately stood as well, looking for all the world as if wanted nothing but to gather Harry in his arms. Harry did it for him by wrapping his arms around the man's waist and laying his head on his shoulder.

Remus wrapped his arms around him as if he were a lifeline. Muttering thank you over and over again. They stayed like that a few minutes until Remus finally let go and gave Harry a small nod before flooing away leaving Harry and the Headmaster alone in the office, Fawkes trilling softly in the background.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry plopped wearily down on the couch in Snape's chamber fifteen minutes later. Snape looked up from his book in curiosity before burying himself back in it.

"I might be expelled." Harry blurted out and looked at Snape from under his fringe.

Snape slowly marked his page and set his book on the table next to his chair. He then turned the full might of his stare on Harry.

"And why, exactly, do you believe this?" Harry quickly explained what had just transpired with Remus.

"While I find the tears disgusting and your forgiveness of the wolf to Hufflepuff for my tastes, I see no reason for expulsion anywhere in your story."

"Well, before I left his office I may have called the Headmaster a manipulative son of a bitch."

Harry couldn't help but smile as Snape's baritone laughter filled the room.

*The End*


End file.
